also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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