I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
