There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
