i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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