did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize