he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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