Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
