We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
