Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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