it wasn't lemon gatorade
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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