If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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