Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
