Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
