I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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