I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
