He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
