EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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