defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
false alarm, still single
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