My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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