How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
