can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
