i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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