Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
