Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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