i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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