508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
