is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
