Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
