i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
