i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
