i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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