I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
