It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm like, not good at living.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
