best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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