I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
