PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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