no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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