Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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