There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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