I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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