I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
