Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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