Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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