when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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