Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
