this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
