come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
