She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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