omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
