I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
