There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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