oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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