Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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