if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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