i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
