Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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